The Quest for the Dress!

Well, this is the blog post many of you have been waiting for…

The Quest for the Dress!

Like many other brides-to-be, I was so excited to begin my quest for the perfect dress, and I did my best to make the most of it! Armed with my mom and fearless friends, I tried on dresses ranging in price from 100 dollars to 10,000 dollars (and yes, that was, um, a bit out of the price range!) and went everywhere from David’s Bridal to the famed Kleinfeld store in New York City! I can’t wait to share the adventures and some dress pictures with you! Of course, THE dress will not be shown in this blog post, but I hope you’ll get a kick out of some of the dresses we considered as well as some of the, well, more memorable rejects!

Our quest for the perfect bridal dress began the Friday after I got engaged. Eric had just left to go back to Milwaukee, and I was staying with Julie, Quinn and babies Elle and Aidan in New York City. Since my mom was planning to come and meet the twins that day, Elle and Aidan (of A&E Wedding Planners, Inc.) decided that it would be a great idea to surprise her with dress shopping at Saks Fifth Avenue! So when she got to the city, A&E got into their strollers, and Julie, my mom, and I all went down to Saks! There we met Katerina, our first bridal consultant, who showed me a variety of styles of dresses.

Now, essential to the quest for the wedding dress is my feeling towards what I affectionately call “meringue” dresses. Ever since I saw Four Weddings and a Funeral at the age of 10, I have been deeply skeptical of what I call the “meringue” look. (To learn more, click on the link and go to minute 5:50.)

I have always sworn away from the “meringue” look, thinking it was just a bit too poofy—okay, a lot too poofy—and that it was a silly thing to wear on one’s wedding day. Should you be elegant and refined at your wedding? So being anti-meringue, I imagined I’d probably wear a nice, elegant A-line dress. Though perhaps imagine is too strong of a word. The truth is that I never gave much thought to what wedding dress I’d wear because I was busy thinking about what music would be performed at the ceremony, who would give the homily, etc. Hallmarks of a priest-to-be, I guess. But this would turn out to be much to my detriment in wedding dress world, because I quickly discovered there are all sorts of things you need to know about your dress: do you want to wear silk or taffeta? Do you prefer crinoline or a hoop? Do you want your dress to have box pleats or shirring? On day one, I didn’t know what any of these things even were. All I could explain to Katerina is that I did not want to look like a meringue on my wedding day. So here are some of the dresses she brought out:

And here’s Wedding Planner Aidan’s take on the situation:

"I like it, but it's not THE dress."

Next Katerina brought out an A-line dress with wider flare. Behold the back of the dress and Wedding Planner Aidan’s opinion:

"That's better, Aunt D, but still not it."

Next Katerina, despite my objections, suggested I try on something with a bit more of a princess-styled skirt. Here she is fastening the clips to the back of the gown, and I have to say that the second I saw myself in it, a miraculous transformation happened....

The sugary poof of the skirt made me smile and giggle! And though this was not to be THE dress, I had gone from being a skeptic of the meringue to a lover of the meringue in under 30 seconds. It was fun and, yes, maybe it was a bit goofy, but I understood the allure now: I felt so happy in my meringue dress! For whatever reason, I just wanted to giggle all the time! And after all, barring a career as Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty, when else in life was I going to get to wear a dress like this? Baby Aidan was a fan too; he gave the dress a bit smile.

Finally, we rounded off our trip to Saks with a dress that my mom saw another bride try on. Unaware of the 10,000 dollar price tag, she asked if we could try the dress on. Baby Elle, who had been thoroughly unimpressed by all the other dress options, perked up when I emerged in this dress: she smiled and cooed and giggled! Sadly, it was, uh, a bit out of our price range!

The 10,000 dollar dress.

Aidan seems proud of everything we accomplished at Saks. But I think Elle is pretty disappointed I didn't go for the dress of her dreams! Maybe she'll buy it and do some alterations for her flowergirl dress!

Though our visit to Saks didn’t yield any dress decisions, it did help us narrow down our dress style, which was really helpful when we went to our second destination: David’s Bridal. As Julie described David’s Bridal, it was “a stop on the train to the dress destination that every bride should take.” And I would agree with that. My personal opinion was that a lot of the dresses that looked good in the catalogue weren’t made of very high quality fabric in real life, and that you could get better quality dresses at similar prices from other companies. Nonetheless, it was a good place to go for comparison shopping, and one of the places where I discovered how friendly brides-to-be are! There were 3 or 4 other brides trying on dresses with me, and they would say, “Ooh! I like that one!” or “Oh no, the other one was better!” We also met a lovely girl who was there all by herself, so she adopted me and my mom (no one should go dress shopping alone) for added support!

Some serious meringue at David's Bridal!

So at the close of the Quest for the Dress Week 1, no dress was purchased, but much was learned. We learned the difference between taffeta and silk, between silk and satin, between sheering and boxed pleats, between mermaid and meringue, but we were still dress-less. But like any good quest, the search for the dress is as much about learning as it is about reaching the final destination! So here’s a summary of what we discovered so far:

Stores visited: 2
Companions on dress quest: 4
Dresses tried on: approximately 16
Dresses purchased: 0

Stay tuned next time for when Meri, Maid of Honor extraordinaire, becomes involved in the quest for the dress and for a special appearance by a historic dress….

P.S. Please pardon any font inconsistencies; blame blogger, not us!

Engagement Freebies!

So one of the things that I, Danielle, have been surprised and thrilled to discover is the number of things people want to give you for free when you get engaged. Free cake, free compliments, free magazines, free dress-trying-on, and most surprisingly, free dinners! Of course, all these people want to sell you a version of whatever they're offering for free, but nonetheless, I get a spark of joy whenever I get a little perk of free-ness!

My favorite thus far has been an evening outing that the girls took when we were location shopping. Even though the Waterview was booked up for the fall, they encouraged us to come to their expo night, when they had free dinner, free drinks, lighting, and music so prospective brides and grooms could swoon over the venue. My mom and I decided to make a girls night out of it, and we went with Attendant Dawn as well as Jen and her daughter, Emma, who live across the street. We went in two cars, since Emma is still in a car seat and we couldn't all fit in one vehicle. So our adventure began in two vehicles, and immediately baby Emma was suspicious:

Emma: Mommy, where's daddy?

Jen: Daddy's at home.

Emma: Where's Tre-or [her way of saying Trevor, her bro's name]?

J: Trevor's at home with daddy.

E: Where's Greg?

J: Greg is at Danielle and Peggy's house.

[Pause]

E: I want to go home.

J: We can't go home. This is a girl's night out! We're going out with the girls!

E: Oh.

But if baby Emma was concerned about going out at night without her dad and bro, her worries immediately melted when we arrived at the Waterview and she saw unlimited numbers of her favorite food: cupcakes. In addition to being a joy all night, as we sampled sweet and sour chicken and martinis with Skittles in them, Emma enjoyed taking turns sitting on all our laps, eating whichever cupcake was currently in front of her. And so baby Emma discovered what it took me 29 years to learn: being engaged is the sweetest thing ever!

Baby Emma and her cupcake!

The Location Saga

Every girl dreams about her wedding. She dreams about a white dress, flowers, colors, a catering hall. But Danielle's dreams were of a different sort: she would while away the hours as a child considering what music the choir would sing at her ceremony, how what priest would do the ceremony, and what setting of the Eucharistic prayers would be used. By the time she reached her adult years, she hadn't developed any ideas about dresses or flowers, but she had become convinced that she knew just who she wanted to perform the ceremony and just where she wanted the ceremony to be done: Yale Divinity School's chapel.

The chapel was a special place for Danielle, since she'd attended services there almost daily for five years. She'd seen the room renovated from its former state to a pristine hall with glistening windows, tons of sunlight, movable chairs, and a brand new organ. She thought the space would be perfect, and so when it was finally time to plan her wedding, she assumed that booking the chapel would be the first port of call.

And then she discovered the Two R's: the Reality of the Reception. With a wedding ceremony had to come a wedding reception. But where to have a reception around Yale? The college didn't allow alumns to host events in most locales, and neither the Tumminios nor the Hansens had much knowledge about reception sites in the area. But they had to book something and quickly if they wanted to get married in the fall! Here's how things unfolded.....

After their first dress shopping experience at Sak's, Danielle, Peggy, A&E went on a stroll down 5th Avenue to the Yale Club. They didn't think they'd actually have the wedding there because D wanted to have the ceremony at Yale, but they wanted to check it out because the location would be terrific. Once they got to the Yale Club, they met Donna, who showed them around and lavished attention on A&E. A flirted with everyone and even got the nice folks at the Yale Club to lower their hotel room prices! Danielle and Peggy were both really taken by the convenience, the great service, and the beautiful venue. But Danielle really wanted to have her wedding at the Divinity School, and she was committed to not becoming a bride who put her reception ahead of her ceremony. So the Yale Club went on the backburner....temporarily at least.

A&E at the Yale Club, getting ready to head back out into the cold. They were happy in their strollers the whole time, except right at the end, when E wanted to be part of the action!

So after visiting the Yale Club, Danielle and Peggy picked up Eric and returned to CT to do some serious venue shopping. Joining them was their friend and attendant Dawn, a CT native who had lots of wisdom about the area. They began their location scouting at the Waterview, a catering hall near Danielle's parents' house. It was right on the water and rumored to have terrific food. Though many dates in the fall were already booked up, D&E liked the place. The problem: it was about a 45 minute drive from the Divinity School, and wish so many out-of-towners coming to the wedding, everyone agreed it would probably be a far drive. Nonetheless, it became a contender.

The Waterview. Out the window is the water!

From there, the location scouts left the area around the Tumminio household and ventured up to Middletown, a location between the airport in Hartford and the Divinity School. They checked out the Wadsworth Mansion but left as soon as they arrived--the location was too small, didn't have an in-house caterer, and the group would have to be split between two rooms. But the upside of being in Middletown: they were near one of Danielle's favorite restaurants, It's Only Natural. So they refueled at ION before continuing their search.

Next up was Hartford, where the seriously hard-core searching began. They toured a converted department store turned catering venue downtown (Dawn had a negative childhood memory of the old department store that Danielle took as a bad omen), a small hotel in Avon (too small), one of the 10 oldest restaurants in America (beautiful place for dinner, but the catering hall was a new and unmemorable add-on). By the end of the whirlwind tour, it was close to five o'clock and everyone was zonked. So they headed back to the Tumminios, Dawn picked up her car, and Peggy stayed at home while the youngsters went to do some final location searching in New Haven.

In the dark, they headed off to the Branford Yacht Club, which they decided was too confusing to get too. From there they headed along the water to Anthony's, a thoroughly Italian catering hall that brought Danielle right back to her childhood when her relatives lived in Brooklyn in a flavorful world filled with riceballs, pasta, and cannolis. Unfortunately, the space wasn't in shape to hold their guests. Finally, they rounded off their search with dinner and a bottle of wine at Leon's, an Italian restaurant right on the water that turned out to be too small for their party.

Which brought them back to the Yale Club. With the most elegant venue and best reviews thus far, Grand Central Station right across the street, Penn Station within a ten minute cab right, easy access to airports, and more to do in the surrounding area (i.e. Times Square and the Empire State building both within a 15 minute walk), the location seemed more and more appealing. Moreover, since Danielle had a friend who worked in a nearby church, they could still have a beautiful and personalized wedding ceremony. In fact, both Danielle and Eric realized that having a wedding there would be much more elegant and unique than they'd ever dreamed possible, and that made them both really excited!

And still, there was the Divinity School, with its bright windows and happy memories. It was a spiritual home for Danielle, and someplace that she thought would bring her a great deal of comfort on her wedding day. But she also knew that with no nearby catering hall, it wouldn't be a very hospitable and comforting place for her guests. She remembered the genesis of her wedding rules, how annoyed she'd been at long layovers between ceremonies and receptions where she'd known no one. She recalled her annoyance when she'd had to rent a car and got lost navigating her way around parts of America she never expected to see, and she remembered her fatigue at having to drive home from those same rural parts of America late at night, with only a map and no street lights to guide her. She didn't want to raise the same kinds of frustrations in her guests. After all, this was the first time that she and Eric would show the world their relationship, and she wanted to make a good impression.

She realized that a choice needed to be made: stay true to the old dream her single self once held, or grab on to a new one in which she and Eric celebrated their relationship by giving a gift to their guests: a beautiful and unproblematic wedding day.

They booked the Yale Club.