The Mennonites on Marriage

When I was walking along Boston Common several weeks ago, I saw a Mennonite choir singing and stopped to listen. They were dressed in old fashioned suits and long cotton dresses. They sang traditional hymns interspersed with Bible readings. While listening to them, my eye caught this pamphlet, one among many that they had set up nearby:

Thinking about Marriage

Well, I am, I thought, and took one as I was leaving. The bulletin was set up with a list of right and wrong conceptions people have about marriage, with an explanation of both. Here are some of the highlights (accompanied by personal commentary):

Wrong: You marry for what you get out of it.

Marriage does have much to offer, but sometimes people only want to get and not give. In the end, both suffer.

Right: Marriage requires love, loyalty, and sacrifice from both husband and life.

Each must seek to bring out the best in the other person. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord" (Ephesians 5:22). "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered" (1 Peter 3:7). All the ills of marriage can be cured by following this advice.

Commentary: All the ills of marriage? Really?

Wrong: Marriage is bondage, which only makes the grass greener on the other side of the fence.

Some people seem to think marriage puts up a fence between them and real living. So they cross the fence sometimes or wish they had the nerve to do so.

Right: Marriage protects the purity of the race.

Adultery, fornication, and cohabitation are cheap substitutes that destroy the moral fiber of society. "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4). "To avoid fornication let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband" (1 Corinthians 7:2).

Commentary: Hmm...when was the last time I've heard the word whoremongers? And was race really the right word to use in this context?

Wrong: Marriage is based on feelings of love.

This is a common misunderstanding. Certainly, love belongs in a marriage, but the sensation of love is not the glue that holds a marriage together. If it were, any marriage could fall apart at any minute.

Right: Marriage is based on legitimate commitment.

"When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for he hath no pleasure in fools: pay that which thou hast vowed" (Ecclesiastes 5:4). The bride and the groom give their word before God to love and cherish each other, to share the joys and sorrows of life, and to keep themselves only for each other as long as they both shall live. They know that God holds them to that promise. The love of God in their hearts i the basis for that commitment and makes it work.

Commentary: Oh, well this just solves everything.